I found this 20 year old article on my computer and I cannot find it anywhere else online anymore:
metatron3@gmail.com
The following is from http://catholicoutlook.com/rpv.html
It seems to be a Catholic group poking fun at Protestants, but some of the verses in the Parody Bible (below) are quite funny, if somewhat irreverent:
Samples from the RFV:
Matthew 16:18 "And I tell you that you are Peter, but on the Bible, not you, I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will overcome it almost immediately, and the truth will be lost until the
Reformation. 19 "I will give to every Christian the keys of the kingdom of heaven, that is, the Bible. The Bible is to be their only authority, and the only rule of faith and practice." (RFV).
Matthew 19:17 "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, all you need is faith alone." (RFV).
Matthew 24:13 "For whoever is a true Christian is already saved, and his perseverance is guaranteed." (RFV)
John 3:5 5 "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of the Spirit. He should also be baptized at some point, but it's only a formality." (RFV).
John 15: 1, 2 "I am the true snow, and my Father is the shovel. He does not shovel up any dunghill covered by me, even though it constantly sins damnably in all that it does."
John 16:13 "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. Not corporately, of course, but individually. Each Christian will be personally guided into all truth. Let each one be sure in his own mind that he is personally guided by the Holy Spirit, even if every other Christian interprets the Bible differently than he does." (RFV)
John 17:20-23 "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be scattered, Father, each to his own church. May they also be
divided doctrinally so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the Bible that you gave me, that they may interpret it for themselves and separate one from another. May their
denominations be as numerous as the sand on the seashore to let the world know that the Bible is clear and easily understood." (RFV).
1 Corinthians 1:10 "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you decide for yourselves what the truth is, even if that leads to thousands of divisions among you, and that each denomination may be more or less united in mind and thought. Otherwise, let it divide yet further until it is more or less united in mind and thought." (RFV).
1 Corinthians 3:3, 4
"You are very wise. For since there is division and disagreement among you, are you not discerning? Are you not showing wisdom? For when one says, "I follow Luther," and another, "I follow Calvin,"
are you not wise indeed?" (RFV)."
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